Getting Back to Blogging, and Being Good Enough

personal Jun 16, 2020

First of all, I'd like to apologise for neglecting this blog. A lot has happened as we all know  (in the world, and also in my personal life.)  I wish I could go and write about my thoughts about everything, but I know that's not gonna happen.

Instead, I just wanted to reaffirm my promise to blog more regularly. I had a very low bar set already - to blog once a month - but even that fell by the wayside.

I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to fulfill this promise to myself. But I'm also ready to start anew. Especially since I found Matthew's fantastic blog, Exception Not Found. His article about keeping your own blog has inspired me again.

And then there's this five-year-old post that really struck a chord in me.

You see, lately I've been feeling a bit down.

And it's weird, because I know I've accomplished many things. But my mind keeps moving the goal posts.

I passed a test and got certified in December. I was promoted to Senior Developer in February. I started streaming/live coding weeks ago. I got approached to give a talk just yesterday.

And yet, I still don't think it's enough.

Maybe it's quarantine blues and lack of Vitamin D (I've been working from home since March), but my general feeling lately is I start all these different things, try to learn all these skills... but I'm not good enough.

There's so much stuff I want to learn. But even if I keep learning and learning, I don't feel good enough. I'm not an expert at anything. I feel like I always have to play catch-up, and I don't have the time and resources to do so.

Even with blogging, I start thinking I don't have the time to write good posts.  So why should I even try?

Matthew's post gave me a different perspective.

I don't have to be an expert. But as long as I'm doing something - I'm learning - that's enough.

It's gonna take some time to reorient my thinking. But I'm hoping with this change, I'll have more confidence in expressing my thoughts on this blog.

Photo by Felicia Buitenwerf on Unsplash

Kristina Alberto

Software engineer from Sydney. I work at Domain Group.